Please Hold
by Beth Is Here
Summary: Bella has an interesting job and meets all kinds of people. Will she meet someone she already knows? Edward is a workaholic with no time for a social life. Does Bella know about his favorite way to unwind? Rated M for language, crude humor, and lemons.


**A/N This fic is going to be a little different from what I normally write. Please make sure you review as much as you can because I don't know how well I am doing with a new way of writing. You'll see what I mean. Anyway, The names of my characters belong to Smeyer, but the characters and the story is all mine. I really hope you enjoy it!**

I looked in the mirror, disgusted with what I saw. A big shiny red pimple had set up its residence right on my forehead. I sighed. Well, at least you didn't have to see my face while I worked. I pulled my hair up out of my face, and gave the mirror my best smile. The bump on my forehead smiled back at me. Ugh.

I locked the four locks that kept my apartment safe from the city, and walked down the three flights of stairs that separated me from the loud traffic that never let up. I caught a cab and made my way to work. I walked through the revolving glass doors, and was greeted by the doorman. "Hello Bella." He said, and smiled at me.

"Hi Jake. How are you today?" I asked politely as I sped up my pace. I suddenly became extremely interested in my cell phone, even though I rarely got any calls or text messages. I smiled to myself as I reached the elevator without having to share a conversation with Jake the Doorman. It's not that Jake the doorman was a bad guy, or that I didn't like speaking to him. We actually had a date last week, and he was very charming, and the perfect gentleman. The humid summer night forced us to get naked and that was when I learned that Jake the doorman had been gotten the "short end" of the dick stick. Poor Jake the doorman. He had so much potential but it was wasted on the shortest penis I'd ever seen.

Hand smiled pleasantly to all my coworkers. "Hi Alice! How was your weekend?" I asked, winking at her. She smiled back to me and shrugged her shoulders.

"Speed dating with Rosalie. It was fun. There were free drinks and hot straight men. What's not to like?"

"You could have called me! You knew I was home this weekend!" I replied with a hint of hurt in my voice.

"Oh no, I learned my lesson about taking you both with me when I'm trying to get laid. All the guys like you and Rosalie, and the little short girl ends up alone. If I didn't love you two girls, I'd hate you because of your legs. Men see them and think, Woo Hoo! Those will go over my head just right! They see mine, and think, Damn, I am going to have to pick this bitch up to get any action from her. " Alice exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, and what they don't know is that you put out more than Rose and I do put together." I said, laughing.

"Yeah, that's probably true…" Alice replied and winked at me as she made her way to her cubicle. I followed her over to my own, right between hers and Rosalie's. Rosalie was already on a call. I waved a little hello, and she winked at me, and smiled. I sat down and started getting ready for my shift. Alice began a call, and I was left alone to catch my own. I pulled out my script book, and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes, and opened the book to whichever page it fell to. I opened my eyes and smiled at the page that faced me. I put on my headset, and got to work.

I was about halfway into my shift when Alice and Rosalie popped their heads over my cubicle wall simultaneously. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I put my fingers over my lips, and pointed at my headset. They nodded and smiled.

"Oh, yes John, that is perfect! You are making me so hot! …. Yes! Eat that muffin John! Ohhh …. Nibble the top! Ohhhh! I can't stand it any longer John, I need you! Put your love wand in my magic box! Yes John! You are so big! WOW! I can't stand it John, your love stick is just sooo big! Oh, you're just going to have to take it out and let me lick the fairy dust off of it! … Yes ohhh, that tastes sooo good. I want you to Shoot your magic all over my face! Do it John Do it! YES YES YES! … No, thank YOU John. It was great. Thanks! Yes sir, the charges will be on your next credit card bill. Thank you John! Bye now!"

Alice and Rosalie were silently making faces and hand gestures all the while I was on the call. "That must have been the Harry Potter Lover." Rosalie said with a laugh.

"Yeah, John calls me every week. He's a big Harry Potter lover.

"It's lunch time Bella, let's get some sushi." Alice said, snatching me up from my chair.

**Ok, this was a short chapter, because I really want to know if you think I should keep going or leave this alone. I think I got the humor part right, let me know what you think. PLEASE REVIEW!**


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